it’s been a while.
well, that was tacky for a start i need to work on that. it’s like the first time in god knows how long that i started writing publicly again. writing has always been personal, so having people to actually read them is like laying yourself bare out there; open and vulnerable.
i’ve decided to move here from my other blog because it’s too much of my previous self there. i still write for fun sometimes, but to be frank i don’t even recall the last time i wrote for myself as i don’t deem writing as my preferable escape anymore. i grow up, i’m an adult now, most of the time i don’t give a shit about life, about myself, i choose an easier, slowly destructive rather than healthy coping mechanism, and days get by just like that. my apologies if this sounds like a flight of ideas, i’m trying to get a hold of it.
apart from getting back into writing, i’m also trying to be more honest with myself as i pour my unfiltered thoughts into words. one of many things that set me back from actually creating something is the fear of not being good enough; of being perceived and judged accordingly. i succumb to fear and idleness, i don’t create as much, so it’s not surprising that my writing ability has regressed over time. it’s sad but again, i’m trying.
i’ve been way too hard on myself for the last few months that i lost sense of my self-worth. doing this is actually an act of embracing my vulnerability and helps me value myself more. and it would be more fulfilling if there are people who stumble upon my writings and can resonate with them.
so i write again.
